RED FLAGS

FOR DCF REFERRALS

By

Atty. Michael H. Agranoff

January, 2011

DCF operates on the “referral system”. That is, someone must call in a referral to DCF to get it to investigate allegations of child abuse or neglect.

Parents may wish to be aware of the usual sources of DCF referrals, and try to protect themselves in advance. I will now detail some of the more common referrals, and list preventive steps that families can take. Obviously, these are guidelines, and there are no guarantees.

REFERRAL SOURCE	COMMON REASONS	PREVENTIVE MEASURES TO BE CONSIDERED
POLICE	Domestic violence call to the house.	Recognize that all couples have arguments, and have done so since cave man times. Keep your disputes private and quiet. If necessary, seek professional help if you have trouble doing this. Professional help can be costly. However, sometimes local agencies can help, although there may be a wait. You will have to decide. The important thing is to not let it go until it’s too late.
	Any arrest with a child involved. Can be DWI, or even shoplifting	Never drive while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If need be, call a friend or a taxi for a ride. Obviously, obey the law. If you somehow feel that you must break the law, which I hope will not be the case, certainly do not have children around or be responsible for them at the time.
SCHOOLS	Kid comes to school with a bruise of any kind.	In the old days, people understood that kids got bruises playing. Now, with mandated reporters, and a climate of fear, the attitude has changed. If your kid has a bruise, be sure to call the school and have a written note, to lessen the chance of a referral. The note should specify exactly what happened, and when, and if you are scheduling a doctor’s appointment. CRITICAL: Keep on good terms with the teachers and any counselors. That pays dividends. Attend school meetings regularly.
	Kid says something to a teacher about family problems.	The kid may think he’s “just talking”, but the school sees it differently. Encourage your kids to discuss problems with you, not to air their dirty laundry in public. If you have parenting problems, seek professional help; there is plenty out there.
	The kid is bullying others or is being bullied.	If your kid is being bullied, you must be proactive; relying on the school to help is generally useless. See School Bullying. If your kid is a bully, get him help; as this is usually a sign of insecurity, and can lead to more serious problems as he gets older.
NEIGHBORS	Dispute with neighbors for any reason, and they want to get back at you.	Try to keep on good terms with them. Keep the noise down and the place clean. If disputes escalate, see an attorney for advice; it may be cheaper in the long run than letting a disaster occur later.
	Neighbors are prejudiced against you for one reason or another.	This is difficult to combat directly. Try to make as many friends as you can, to make a complaint less likely.
HOSPITALS	You give birth, and your blood shows the presence of illegal substances. Worse yet, the baby may have been born addicted.	The obvious solution is to avoid illegal substances, especially if you are pregnant. Fetal alcohol syndrome is incurable and may lead to lifetime problems. This is child abuse at its worst, as it is completely avoidable. If this is a problem, professional help is mandatory.
	Child is taken to the hospital with an injury.	If at all possible, go to your pediatrician who knows you, rather than to a hospital. If you must go to the hospital, be certain that you can explain the injury calmly and rationally. Do NOT assume that the hospital will take your word for it. If problems arise, contact an attorney immediately; this is not a sign of guilt.
DOCTORS	You disregard the doctor’s recommendation as to vaccination, feeding routines, etc.	Either follow the recommendations or get a new doctor. Disagreeing with a pediatrician is not recommended, and has led to innumerable referrals.
	The child is not gaining weight fast enough, or you hear the term “failure to thrive”.	Take it seriously. Follow all recommendations. Ask for a referral to a specialist if necessary. Follow-through and be sure the doctors communicate. The medical profession is notoriously poor at communications.
RELATIVES	Upset at you, due to not raising the children as they prefer.	A tough one. You have parental rights, but referrals from interfering and disgruntled relatives are a real problem. It’s best to be patient at first, then assertive – you appreciate their ideas, but you are the parent. If they persist, it is usually best to just cut off the argument and avoid them.
	Upset at you, because you do not allow them (normally, grandparents) to see the kids enough.	It is best to have established a good relationship with the in-laws in the first place. As the old saying goes, if you don’t want to be married to someone like that in 20 years, then don’t marry their child. Try to work it out. Try to get your spouse on your side. You do not object to the in-laws as such, only to their interference in YOUR family. If problems persist, contact an attorney for advice before it‘s too late.

Of course, referrals can come from anyone. The above is a list of common referrals, and our office hears these regularly.

You cannot totally “DCF-proof” your family. However, you can be aware of the potential problems, and take steps before it is too late.

A DCF investigation is unpleasant at best. There is no sure-fire way to avoid it, but you will be glad if you minimize your risk.